» Comics - chapter 01 - page 03 - August 8th, 2009, 1:50 pm

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sosenka_va, August 8th, 2009, 1:55 pm

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Last month I asked for a review, and I was lucky enough to get 2! From Ejcoletta and Rindesei <3
They both pointed out a few flaws so I'm working on fixing them.

The most important was the line thickness issue, they're a bit stronger now (I also fixed the earlier 2 pages).

Next - tones. Haha I suck at those, but since I'm putting more details into each panel than I ever >tried< they're kind of necessary. Simple B&W is great as long as you keep it simple but it doesn't quite work when panels are more complex (my old messy bg style wasn't helping either). So from now on I'll be regularly using simple/gradient tones.

And the last thing - backgrounds (yep, they're less messy now but that's not the thing :'D). There will be more, not as many per page as here of course. But since Lars is just walking around and Rindesei mentioned the lack of BGs in the prelude... Also the middle panel with the crazy stairs perspective was done especially for Ejcoletta, hope you like it :D

Credits tiem~ Kudos to HOON for making a great tutorial on (staircases in) technical perspective, go check it out -> http://hoon.deviantart.com/art/New-perspective-on-perspective-19043867



RESPONSE:

@hiruda: Thanks XD

@Ihatedogowners: It does, doesn't it? xD I was surprised too :D

@Rindesei: Thanks :D I'm happy you like them x3

@akatora124: Thank you <3

@WhitexNoise: ...I do too X'DDD

@koniilung: Thank you, it's good to know :3

@Jangle: Haha the dialogs would be better if I was better at english X'D Unluckily I suck, so the dialogs do too ;^;

@Oxygentank: I do XD haha

@masa-tipkanok: Thank you >3< I also don't like over-toned manga '^'

@Rechan: Thank you x3 I'm doing my best not to clutter it to much, it's hard though :'D

@Sabaku no Renge: Thank you <3 And sooo sorry for the hiatus just when you started reading D:

@Imi: Thanks <3 I never knew there was a Persona manga D: Hope One Manga has it >u>

...It only seems detailed, I was to lazy to do it well that's why it's all so shaky x'D

@katiecakes: Thank you so much ;^; It's the comments like yours that make me want to draw and improve more ;^;

@Sabriel19: Thanks : D

@Cheese-Sama: Thanks x3 I like drawing indoors BGs : D

@emruki: Thanks, I'll keep that in mind :]

@Mr.Guest: Actually it's exactly the opposite.

@Shuka Dunn: Thanks <3

@NamiAne: haha Thanks : D

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Reader Comments:



 

uwah~ pretty stairs!!

posted by hiruda on August 8th, 2009, 2:03 pm





 

i LOVE youre art so much! youre awesome!good job on the perspective.

posted by akatora124 on August 8th, 2009, 2:59 pm



 

Oh my goshh-- you're so amazing with backgrounds! Those stairs look fantastic. I think the lines look fine btw~

posted by koniilung on August 8th, 2009, 5:01 pm





 

I actually really like the backgrounds. I mean, sure, some angles are a little wonky, but when his eyes are stitched the backgrounds are very bleake. But now, that his (eye) is open, they have more detail and depth. <: The only thing I would comment on is the dialouge. It can be a bit weak at times.

posted by Jangle00 on August 8th, 2009, 5:16 pm





 

pretty pagee!!
and about earlier, wincing is like.. flinching, tell me you know what that means.. LOL

posted by Oxygentank on August 8th, 2009, 5:43 pm





 

I adore your works. It's beautiful, it's a simplified yet detailed style! <3<3

posted by Rechan on August 8th, 2009, 6:45 pm





 

Hello, just started reading.

I like this comic a lot, it gets better with every page, I can't wait to read more!

posted by Sabaku no Renge on August 9th, 2009, 1:39 pm





 

You manage to use black and white so well. I say this is someone who tried using that style and I struggled to find the places to place the heavy black. It always makes me think of Persona 4, which has a similar feel of mystery and surrealism about it in the manga.

And that staircase is stunning ;_; I've looked at this page quite a few times and it's always lovely to see how you haven't scrimped on the detailing.

(Also, thank you for your lovely reply to my comment <3)

posted by Imi on August 10th, 2009, 4:43 am





 
I can't get enough!

This story is so wonderfully dark and mysterious. The art style is brilliant and the sharp contast adds to the wonderfully ominous mood of the story. They way you've set it up so far is brilliant and most definately leaves readers clinging on with curiousity. Wonderfully thought out and delightfully exicuted. I look forward to all your future updates.

posted by katiecakes on August 10th, 2009, 11:01 pm





 

woah, cant believe he tore out his stitches, that must have hurt. Love your art, your storyline is also very unique and mysterious. You've totally hooked me, I can't wait to see what you come up with next.

posted by Sabriel19 on August 10th, 2009, 11:29 pm





 

The architecture is so awesome! @_@

posted by Cheese-Sama on August 11th, 2009, 2:06 pm





 

Your current style is nice. Simple gradients with BW definitely fits the mood of your story. I'd only suggest to keep the gradients (or gray colors) to a max of three per panel. It keeps things looking uncluttered. :)

posted by emruki on August 12th, 2009, 9:30 pm



 

its the mysterious black and white mansion of terror and mystery

posted by Guest on August 14th, 2009, 9:35 pm





 

Interesting story and art so far. o.O

posted by Shuka Dunn on August 16th, 2009, 12:10 am





 

Your art is amazing and the story is really interesting so far. Can't wait for more.

posted by NamiAne on August 24th, 2009, 6:14 am



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